But I'm forcing myself not to. I want to but I'm not going to. I need him but I won't call him. He can't fix me. He has his own shit to deal with and the last thing he needs on him right now is my stupid crazy problems that don't even matter at the end of the day. I don't have the stress of crazy bills, or college work. My life is essentially perfect, or more or less stress free and care free because all I do is work three days of the week. The rest of the time I BS my way through my days off. But what people don't see is that my head and brain is fucked. it's all fucked up. I hate it. I don't know how to fucking fix it. I don't want to fix it. it's all screwed up.
I want certain things. I used to anyway. But I just don't see the point.
Yeah, thats the word. The point. I don't see the fucking point. what is the fucking point? I'm not sure. Life? what? what is it?!
if you have nothing to believe in i.e. God, church, people, why do you go? What makes people like me who believe in nothing keep going?
Maybe thats why we created suicide...
Just a thought. You know. Just thinking aloud.
I always do that. Think aloud.
I always try to fix my own problems because no one else gets it.
About Me
- Independent_82
- I'm an 18 year old wannabe photographer. I have big dreams and ambitions now that I have graduated high school. I enjoy singing and playing guitar, taking pictures, and researching things I'm interested in.
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1 comment:
You need to get away from Mcbee/Hartsville. That's the best thing i've ever done in life. You need to follow your dreams. College might be expensive. I don't have the money for it. I have 120983x million student loans, but they'll get paid off eventually. There are loan out there and you have no reason not to be in school. Getting yourself out of that environment is what I personally thing is the best for you. If you wanna come to Anderson for a visit or to spend the weekend you can stay with me. I miss you a lot and I never get to talk to you since you've deleted your myspace. I really hope things will start working out for you. Just make an effort. You can do anything and everything, and it's not to late!
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