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It has been a while since I've blogged.
No excuses really. Just plain laziness.
I've been feeling lots of different things these days. Mostly it's loneliness. After moving to our apartment in Florence, I finally got the privacy of my own bedroom, but soon realized I had no one to close the door on. (Besides my mother and little brother) I realized that no one was really trying too hard to get to me, to see me, to talk to me, to be with me. No one really craves me presence. I feel alone.
I envy the type of people my older sister and younger brother are. They have a likable personality. They know how to be easy going around people. They have friends. I just don't know what is wrong with me.
All I have is Ryan and even that isn't sustaining me these days. It's his senior year and he keeps pretty busy, and now that I'm in a whole new county I feel even farther away from him. Everyday I wake up and mom is either at work or heading out the door. Austin and Wade are at school, Kailey does not even live with us so I never see her anyway. I am virtually alone. I can't stand it.
I don't know if anyone is out there that reads this, I don't know if anyone out there cares if I even make a post. I don't think they do.
I want to be in school so badly, I want to meet other people. I want a best friend that I can see and talk to everyday. I want someone to get me, and not judge me, and just be a friend. I feel like I have so much to offer other people in friendship, but no one seems to be searching for what I am and that is obviously company.
I hate how alone I am