Gone again

well, he's gone again. My father that is. you know the last time I saw him before these past two weeks, was at christmas. It's been four months since I've seen him. And you know what the funny thing is? The thing that I just can't seem to understand? No matter how hard I try; no matter what perspective I try to put this in, I still just cannot fathom WHY it appears to be so easy for him to go out there and stay there? How can he just do that? According to grandma going out and living in Seattle is like his hideaway, his run to place. His GETAWAY. Countless times he tells me that being in this old house reminds him of his "failure" and he can't stand the memories. Well guess what, me, kailey, and austin all have had to face the memories, face the sleepless nights, face it all by ourselves. Each one of us had to face that heartbreaking monster on our own and mom and dad just can't do it. Especially dad. He owns this house and he can't face it and overcome it like we did.
He's supposed to get married to her soon. His girlfriend Cristi I mean. You can count me out of that happy little marriage thank you very much.
Oh yeah! And you can count me out of college too. lol I'm not going.